|
Profile |
Music |
|
Profile |
Music |
|
Saturday, August 30, 2008
i actually decided not to blog for awhile. Obviously why my posts are all just Happy birthday's and nothing else. well maybe because if i start to post down my daily happenings&events, i probably can't stop. Life's been abit hard lately. i'm quiet most of the times now. though people around me don't really notice because there's always a fake smile glued to my face, well sometimes. maybe, just maybe, trying to put on a happy&good time expression. i've got stuff inside i don't quite say out to the world, which only God knows &i share it mostly to Him. i guess i haven't really been open to him anyway. i guess you people may be saying to yourself, "here goes AJ with the same drama." it could be drama to you guys. but there's some things i'm really going through, but it's just so hard to share. not that i don't want to share. i really really want to. but i just can't. but no, i'm the only one going through these things. some people around me are going through these things WITH ME. secretly. &i just can't find the answers to my problems anywhere. i haven't told anyone. not even besteey. i want to tell her, i just don't know how. maybe because i know how she'll react. &i'm afraid to. i don't want her to think that i'm not the besteey she knew from the beginning of 2007. i don't want my problems to hinder our friendship. i don't think i can take another problem. &when i ask the Lord, i don't seem to get a reply. i guess i just don't know where to get it. if i search for it through the Bible, where should i flip to? my life's nothing but a piece of paper, right now covered with nothing but scribbles&lines that makes no sense. i don't understand, i but i want to. i want to know why can't the Lord prevent them from happening if he already knew. why can't my life be words on that piece of paper, rather than just scribbles&lines. until now, i've got millions of questions that needs to be answered, &i need alot of advice. sometimes, my life is full of regrets. but there's just no turning back. &there's no point crying&saying "sorry, will you forgive me" if it happened twice. &twice is horrible&painful enough. i don't want to reach that certain point yet. Not yet. but i guess in order to win back His trust, you've gotta do what's expected uh? but the question is, is he still willing to forgive me? &i know i have to do something. &that something is something He'd be pleased. i bet you're wondering what i'm saying&you want to know more, i probably will just give you the answer, " when the right time comes, i'll tell you." &yes, when the right time comes, i'll tell you. so for now, it's between me, the Lord & maybe the person who's going throught it with me. private & confidential that's waht my life is, for now. but i don't know how to begin, when all has happened. all i feel like doing now, is to go to the Lord, lean on Him, &start crying. &i'll here him say " hush my child, everything's gonna be alright." cos there's no better person to be with than with Him. Saturday, August 30, 2008
|
Tagbox   Music Playlist at MixPod.comHolyMolySheet! EosBesteey! Fadeelah! Faye! Hafizah! Hazirah! Isabel! |
