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Wednesday, July 1, 2009
MJ's funeral is held tomorrow!! i wish i was there)= OK, i don't know how to start this. well the second day of school was a little bit more fun than the first. i had fun laughing with Faiqah & Ashikin. anyway, my first day of classes was not what i expected, actually i thought that when i finally stepped into school, i'll have to face my past again i'll have to endure every little heart ache once more all the hurt will draw back to me but nothing happened. i saw him, he probably saw me too but i didn't quite bother. it was like as if i didn't really know him. it's not that, i don't care it's maybe because, i didn't want to bother? i wanted to stay away from him because, well, obviously i didn't want anything to happen. i didn't even bring him up to anyone. only until Besteey started talking about him, then i talked about him too. but that was it. Besteey said i changed/adapting i'm a little bit more quieter, yet i look happy & contented. i don't know. i guess i can see that i'm not as hyper as before? today was almost the same too. although this time, i saw him looking at me. but i just turned away like i don't know him. hmm. it's really difficult to explain actually. & for some of you, if i explain, will you still doubt me? will my explanation even change your mind? maybe no, maybe yes. but whatever it is, i'm done hoping. really. i've gotten so tired of hoping because what am i going to get anyway? he's just gonna bring them down again & again if i continue this way. secretly, all this while i've been trying to change.. i mean, i'm just so tired. because at least now i know that although i may be quiet, & although sometimes our eyes meet, & i just turn back around immediately, i'm happy at where i stand. i won't ask for more... if i do, i won't know where the future will bring. i'm just letting God take over my days because he knows best. whatever happens, happens. Besteey: " what if he comes back?" Me: " i don't know. then he comes back. but he will never..." Wednesday, July 01, 2009
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Tagbox   Music Playlist at MixPod.comHolyMolySheet! EosBesteey! Fadeelah! Faye! Hafizah! Hazirah! Isabel! |
